So you met a great guy, not on a dating site but in the real world. He looks great and seems like Mr. Right. You can’t help but to start thinking he’s better than all the guys you dated in the past.
He probably doesn’t allow you to pay for the bill on the date. And he definitely doesn’t steal a dollar from your purse when you’re not looking. In short, you have high hopes for him.
However, as you spend more and more time together, you can’t help but notice something is off. He keeps talking about his ex even though they broke up a few months ago. Does this mean he’s just talking about her, or is he still connected to her?
You can never really know where a guy stands in dating unless you know what you’re looking for. Today, New Jersey Singles reviews the warning signs you’re only his backup dish.
1. He tells you he doesn’t want anything serious.
Let’s face it, ladies, the right guy will jump with joy when you bring up the relationship and getting serious. He will look forward to spending the rest of his life with you. However, when a guy only sees you as a backup dish, he will shudder at any thought of commitment.
He will tell you that he likes the way things are and might even tell you that he’s not looking for commitment. He wants to keep things light and chill. If a guy is doing this, then he only sees you as a backup. You don’t have any business giving him your time anymore. Move on and be with a man who wants to be with you long-term.
2. The relationship has no label.
Yes, we know that labels aren’t important sometimes. But in your case, it matters because it can help you figure out where you stand.
If he dismisses the thought of calling and showing you off as his girlfriend, what does that tell you? It tells you that he only sees you as a backup. He is pretty much saying that you are not the only one.
Don’t invest any more of your time in him because he clearly only sees you as a backup, not his main woman.
3. He doesn’t spend any money on you.
We know this sounds crazy, but a guy who is serious about you will have no problem dishing out money on you. And this is true, even if he doesn’t have a fat bank account. He will work with his resources to show you that he cares about you.
So if this so-called Mr. Right guy you’re spending time with can’t spend money on you and take you on romantic dates and outings, it can mean two things: One, that he’s broke. Two, that he’s spending money on woman number one.
4. He doesn’t share any responsibilities with you.
You can be sure that you’re only his backup woman when he doesn’t want to share even the smallest responsibility with you. For example, you want him to go to the gym with you, but he always declines. He is drawing these clear lines to tell you that he’s not looking for anything serious with you. If you’re smart, which we hope you are, you can pick up on these obvious clues and stop wasting your time with him.
5. He goes MIA all the time.
Even if you think he’s the nicest guy in the world, you know he still has flaws. He’s not perfect, although he looks the part. So on days you must deal with his bad behaviors, and you have lingering worries, you call him out. What does he do? He runs away and disappears into thin air. He won’t tell you where he went and why. Nope, he just disappears and goes MIA.
You try to call him out on it and he gives you an attitude like it was your fault. He also always magically works late and gives you an excuse about his whereabouts. If the guy you’re dating goes MIA on you often, then he’s spending time with woman number one and you’re only a backup.
Remember, you don’t deserve to be any man’s backup woman, no matter how much of a great catch you think he is. If you think you’re not the only one, don’t waste another second with this player.